SKU: 22202415245

The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes) (Guides to Villainy and Love)

$18.00 $20.00
Save 10%
No.2 Bestseller on ezbeecleaning.com >

Shipping Estimate
USA
  • USA
  • CAN

Ships within 48 hours · Estimated delivery Jul 12 - Jul 17

Promo Codes Available:

For Your Every Summer RSVP, with Code: SUMMER15

Description

The Dark Lord's Guide to Dating (and Other War Crimes) (Guides to Villainy and Love)A conflicted villain and his unstoppable bride form the realms most chaotic alliance in this riotously funny dark romantasy perfect for fans of Assistant to the Villain, but darker and spicier. Whats mine stays mine. Step One: Kidnap someone cute. Step Two: Force her into marriage. Step Three: Try not to catch feelings. When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose kidnaps Lady Arabella for a forced marriage, he expects an obedient, trembling bride. What he gets

A conflicted villain and his unstoppable bride form the realm’s most chaotic alliance in this riotously funny dark romantasy perfect for fans of Assistant to the Villain, but darker and spicier.

“What’s mine stays mine.”

Step One: Kidnap someone cute.
Step Two: Force her into marriage.
Step Three: Try not to catch feelings.

When Dark Lord Kazimir Blackrose kidnaps Lady Arabella for a forced marriage, he expects an obedient, trembling bride. What he gets is a knife to the throat and a furious woman with demands of her own. He may need her heroic bloodline to achieve ultimate dominion, but she’s not about to make this easy for him.

Arabella has already survived her father’s tower prison and a lifetime of being treated like property. Getting abducted by the realm’s most notorious villain is just another Tuesday. If she must be married to the infuriating (and infuriatingly attractive) Dark Lord, she’ll do it on her terms: freedom within his fortress, hands strictly to himself, and complete honesty about his plans.

But when those plans go awry, Kazimir faces his most terrifying challenge yet: he must date his own wife. Between magical training sessions, playing golf with the eyeballs of his enemies, and aphrodisiac dinners gone spectacularly wrong, his attempts at villainous seduction are failing at every turn.

As Kazimir and Arabella navigate magical explosions and jealous exes, they discover a far more terrifying prospect than war or magical catastrophe: They might actually be falling for each other.

This dark and sexy fantasy romance is perfect for readers who love: a morally gray antihero (who stays that way); a strong heroine who embraces her dark side (she doesn’t need rescuing, thanks); touch her and die trope; hilarious, wicked banter and sizzling spice; one bed/forced proximity; kidnapped bride/forced marriage; and dark humor.

Shipping Notes
  • Free Standard Shipping on $100+ Orders to the USA.
  • Except Preorder products are shipped in 48 hours.
  • Delivery to the USA:
  1. Standard Shipping : 3-10 business days
  • If time is of the essence, please consider selecting expedited delivery for faster service.
Exchange/Return Notes
  • We offer a 30-day return/exchange service after receiving.
  • Final sale items are not eligible for returns or exchanges.
  • To process your return/exchange, please contact us at [email protected]
  • Please click here for more details>>> Return & Exchange Policy
SKU: 22202415245

Discover Niche Categories That Outsell

Top-Converting Item to Boost Your Average Order

4.6 ★★★★★
Based on 2431 reviews
Sort
Highest Rating
Newest First
Oldest First
Product Reviews
W
"WE WINN!!!"
Lake Worth, US
★★★★★ 4
Budget Baddie...
Color: Tan, Size: 9 Foot
This is a quality/durable self driven (me) beast of an umbrella replacement...It has good color and we chose the Tan 9ft. Easy usage for its weight class all while being budget friendly... atmospheric presence of richness & sturdiness, and very easy to open and close to adjust to this unit's comforts. I haven't put this umbrella out for the season as of yet... because the snow is still present on the grounds of New England! "WE WINN"
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on March 23, 2026
S
Shane H.
Boise, US
★★★★★ 5
Beautiful and works great.
Color: Navy, Size: 10 Foot, Color: Navy, Size: 10 Foot
I decided to try this because my old umbrella had seen better days and it was time to replace it. I am very pleased with the quality and the ease of assembly with this umbrella. It’s very sturdy and I like the quality of the fabric and the metal. It’s very easy to open and close and it makes my patio look great. It gives me the perfect amount of shade and the fabric thickness is perfect at keeping the harsh sunbeams from getting through. I also think the price is great for what you get. I would definitely recommend this umbrella because it’s made well and works well. It’s also very easy to clean. I just use my garden hose and spray it down and let it air dry. It also fit perfectly in the stand I already had and it works great. I am very happy I got to try this out.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on March 10, 2026
E
E. Van Der Scratchy
Waukegan, US
★★★★★ 5
Great replacement patio table umbrella.
Color: Tan, Size: 10 Foot
After a windstorm destroyed my old umbrella on our patio set, I was looking for a new one that wouldn't break the bank but also held up to the direct sun of the summer months. This umbrella did not disappoint! The material part of the umbrella top seems like it is nice and thick and the stitching is overlapped in the corners which should provide a lot of strength for the windy days. I really like the neutral colors of the fabric, as that will go well with the rest of my outdoor furniture. The medal pole portion is perfectly straight and the pivot point connection seems nice and tight. I would think that this umbrella will stand the test of time. No assembly needed, just pull it out of the box and extend the fabric.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on February 26, 2026
B
Verified Purchase
B Leary
Charlottesville, US
★★★★★ 1
Incorrect height shown in listing image.
Color: Tan, Size: 9 Foot
I purchased these for their tall height to go in the ground, but they are too short and I hit my head on them. The height shown in Amazon's pictures does not match the actual height for the 9- and 10-foot umbrella. The heights are something more like 90-95 inches rather than the 108 and 120 inches indicated. The 9- and 10-foot umbrella description seems to refer to the diameter of the umbrella instead. I have returned them, but Amazon has not yet corrected the listing.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on May 5, 2026
M
Verified Purchase
Matt
Houston, US
★★★★★ 5
Simple, Comfortable, and Exactly What You Expect
Style: Rack with 3 Pairs (5, 10, and 15 Pound)
These are pretty much exactly what you want from a set of dumbbells — simple, functional, and no nonsense. The neoprene coating gives them a comfortable grip and keeps them from feeling slick in your hands, especially during longer workouts or if your hands get sweaty. The coating also helps keep them from banging up floors or making as much noise compared to bare metal weights, which is nice if you’re working out at home. Weight accuracy seems fine for general fitness use, and they’ve worked great for things like accessory movements, shoulder work, lighter presses, rehab-style exercises, and general muscle toning. The shape also helps keep them from rolling around everywhere when set down. They’re not fancy, and they’re not trying to be — they’re just dependable dumbbells that do what they’re supposed to do at a fair price. If you want straightforward hand weights for home workouts without overthinking it, these are a solid buy.
WAS THIS REVIEW HELPFUL?YesReportShare
Reviewed in the United States on May 26, 2026

recommand products

1992/95 Barcelona Away Short Sleeve Retro Kids Jersey
25.00
Custom Orange White-Navy Fade Fashion Performance T-Shirt
14.99
1991/92 Barcelona Away Short Sleeve Retro Kids Jersey
25.00
Custom Green Orange-White Gradient Fashion Performance T-Shirt
14.99
2018-19 Manchester United FC Away Kit
21.95